How I'm Simplifying My Life to Feel More Fulfilled

I watched a YouTube video recently about how simplifying your life can improve it, and it reminded me a lot of what I've been doing so I wanted to share my experience. If you've already read my post about "Why Getting Less Done Will Make You Happier" some of this might sound familiar (if you haven't read it yet, you should because it adds a lot to this idea), but I wanted to make this more personal and share my experience and what I've felt and learned rather than just the idea. 

I'm a very goal driven person, I've always been a daydreamer and becoming an adult (and gaining some self confidence) was like releasing the child from inside my head out into the world. My newfound independence was the opportunity for me to become the person I'd always wanted to be and fulfill all my dreams. However, being human made that very hard. Our dreams are never as easy as they seem in our head, so throughout my adulthood I've had bouts of motivation bookended by crashes that would leave me sitting on the couch in my pjs 24/7. This might seem familiar to some of you. 

When I got pregnant it got worse. I had such high hopes and expectations for myself as a mother, and I knew I had to start practicing now if I wanted to perfect it by the time the baby arrived. I very quickly wore myself out however, and I had to face myself. I took a look at this "motivation crash" cycle to try and figure out what I was doing wrong. I realized I was trying to do too much, and I expected myself to be more than I was capable of being. 

I can't say I made a conscious decision to simplify my life, I've always wanted to, its been living in the back of my head with all the other aspirations for a while now, but I think that sometimes we just naturally start doing what feels right without being conscious of it. I started with a morning routine. My mornings were always a flop and I knew that the morning could shape the rest of the day. So I made a list of the things I wanted to accomplish in the morning and arranged them in an order that felt natural to follow. It started with probably six things, and while I didn't nail them all, I am proud to say that I managed to get into a habit of following my routine (loosely). This was my main goal for several weeks, and sometimes my morning routine was all I got done, but it felt good. The process of turning the list of things to do into a habit I did naturally every day did have some casualties, my list went from 6 items to 4, but accomplishing those 4 things without feeling like I had to push myself to be motivated is so relieving! And, they are probably the most important things on my list. Now that these things are a solid habit, I can add to it over time to get back up to the 6 items if I feel the need, but for now, these feel good.  

Habits, I've realized, are a good way to get things done without having to think to hard about it or dredge up motivation when it feels like you have none. Having a routine that was a habit made me feel like there were 4 less things on my to do list. That has freed up my mind and made things more simple for me. Now, I feel accomplished every day because the things most important to me are part of my morning routine.

One thing I did before I even recognized the cycle of doom was try and become content with my home. Well, its actually an apartment, and this bothered me for a long time. I felt like I didn't have my own space, it felt temporary, and I yearned for a house of my own. One day I realized that if I couldn't be content where I was, who's to say I would be content in a house? I didn't want to be living constantly longing for something I didn't have, so I decided to treat my current space like it was my forever home. Obviously I couldn't paint or take down walls or anything, but I organized and decorated it like  I was going to be there for the rest of my life. Even the just simple switch in my mindset helped me to let go of what I didn't have and become content in the space I did have. This has freed up so much space in my mind, I no longer feel bogged down by the discouragement or other negative feeling that this caused  me, I feel so much lighter and happier. 

Having moved so much in the last 8 years has taught me to let go of physical items. It is pretty easy for  me to declutter and doing so frees up a lot of space in my mind and my space. Though once I got married and could have my own furniture and decorations it was hard to let go of my things. One thing that has helped me let go of those items was not investing a lot of money in "stuff". I don't buy expensive objects unless its unavoidable, I try to get everything second hand. Not having a lot of money invested in objects makes them easier to let go. I get a lot of free stuff from my local "Buy Nothing" group on Facebook. This group is a place to swap free things within your community. Being a part of this group has allowed me to detach myself from my stuff even more. When I get something for free its easier to let go if I don't need it later on, and when I do get rid of stuff the idea that its going to someone who needs it more than I do makes it easier to give away. I love this group so much, they have helped me with every move and new apartment needing to be furnished, and I feel like I'm giving back when I have to get rid of stuff. 

The HARDEST part of decluttering is getting rid of things that I feel like I might want or need later. Things like craft supplies I have for a very specific project, fancy or business clothes that I might need for an event, or a piece of decor that doesn't fit in this apartment but I might be able to use in the next. For me, what helped me get rid of them was the idea that they were taking up space in my "present", and if I wasn't using them in the present they weren't worth the space. Obviously there are some things that you should hang onto for the future like emergency stuff, but I try to be realistic about what I need. For me it's really a matter of "is it worth the space it's taking up in my mind". Letting things go really frees up my headspace. When my space is cluttered my head is cluttered and foggy and I feel like I have to be cleaning and organizing all the time. Getting rid of the clutter frees up the space to allow me to focus on what is most important to me. 

I'm a crafty person, I love creating, doing art, and working on projects. There are so many things I want to try and projects I want to do! However, I noticed that I will collect projects. I'll start a project and either run out of time to finish, get bored of it, or get distracted by something else. So, these unfinished projects sit in my closet and in the back of my mind for a long time. Recently I was working on a project, and while I was doing that I was thinking about all the other projects I wanted to do or hadn't finished. I felt very overwhelmed and ended up not actually enjoying the project I was working on. It felt like these projects that were supposed to be fun were just another thing on my to do list that was left undone. So, I decided to get rid of all the projects and hobbies I wasn't excited about anymore. I found that I had been hanging onto a lot of things out of guilt for not finishing them. Once I realized that's what I was doing, I was able to look at them and decide which I still wanted to do and which I had moved on from or weren't worthwhile for me anymore. 

I think we all have dreams, hobbies, or projects that we've hung onto just because they've been in our head for so long we feel guilty not finishing them, or we'd feel like a failure if we didn't. I have a LOT of those, in fact I've written almost every idea I've had in a composition book since I was in high school, and saved those composition books so I can look back on them later. I can guarantee that if I looked back through those books from 10 years ago the ideas I would find would not be as inspiring as the day I wrote them down. This is me giving you permission, as I gave myself, to let go of ideas and goals that aren't important to you right now. They're just taking up space. 

I've limited myself to a few hobbies to keep up, things that don't feel like a burden to me, and one craft at a time. I am not allowed to start a new craft if I still have one to finish, unless I'm willing to get rid of that one. Now my hobbies actually feel relaxing and fulfilling, and not like something I need to check off my list. 

The last thing I've done lately to simplify my life is spread out my goals. I used to try and have a new goal every week, but I found that I would feel discouraged at the end of each week because I hadn't accomplished my goal as much as I would have liked to, and then I'd move onto a new goal anyway. We've all heard that it takes several weeks to turn an action into a habit, so I don't know why I was expecting myself to master something in just one week. Like my morning routine, I needed to focus solely on that goal for several weeks before I felt I had accomplished it. So at the beginning of this year we switched to having monthly goals instead of weekly. 

The first monthly goal was bed time. We've been struggling to get to bed at a good time for so so long. It becomes our new goal probably every other week when we choose our goal (We have family meetings every week where we discuss goals together, its corny I know but I love it) and we never made progress on it. So, for the month of january we've been working on going to bed on time, and let me tell you we've done SO much better that any other time we've tried to accomplish this goal! Half way through the month we were meeting our goal of stopping what we're doing to get ready for bed at 10pm, so we've altered it slightly to make it 9:30pm instead. Having a month long goal has allowed us to be accountable every week and make adjustments if we're struggling or doing better than we'd expected. 

I feel so much more accomplished working longer to master one goal rather than having many goals that I don't achieve. I also feel like I have less to keep track of. I don't have to put reminders all over the place to help me remember my goals because I only have one or two at a time and they stay with me for a whole month. 

I think the thing that has helped me the most as I've tried to simplify is thinking about and writing down the things that are most important to me, the things that I want to look back and see throughout my life when I'm on my death bed. I try to stick to only only 5 maybe, to keep it simple, memorable, and really keep with the essentials. For me these are things like "show people they're loved", "make memories with people I care about", and "learn and become better". Having my list helps me stay focused when I'm trying to decide how to use my time and head space. 

You may have noticed as you read but one thing you have to do in order to simplify your life is let go of expectations for perfection. Like I've mentioned, I have a lot of goals, a lot of hopes and dreams, and I have very high expectations for myself. Remembering why I am here on earth has made it possible for me to work toward simplicity. I am here to learn and grow, not to be perfect. Christ has given me an opportunity at a life full of growth, love, and memories, and I don't want to waste it on worrying about how much I achieve and how successful I am according to the world. 

After writing this post I've realized that a simple life is really about preserving our precious time and head space for the things that are important to us, and removing the things that are keeping us from them. Freeing myself to be able to focus on the thing I care about most has honestly brought me so so so much joy. I go to bed at night feeling happy and grateful, no matter what ups and downs the day held, and I know that this path will help me achieve the kind of life I want.

This has been my journey toward simplicity, and everyone is different, so the things clogging up your time and head space may be different than mine. The best thing you can do is ponder and list your priorities and then be watchful and try to find the things in your life that are keeping you from them or just filling up your time and thoughts with unimportant things. 

I hope that my experience is able to help and inspire some of you, as I do with everything I share. Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear any tips you have for simplifying life so make sure to leave a comment!